The snow crunched under my snowshoes as I ventured through the woods. Nina was frolicking all the while picking up on every animal track in her nose vicinity. We were both in nature bliss. Just what my body, mind & soul was craving after a week of mental dervish — I could have sworn the universe was on a tilt-a-whirl all week. And I just knew within my bones that I needed to ground myself. To feel the earth hug my feet.
All was fine and dandy, the trek had worked, so I turned for home and eventually trudged up the hill behind the house. I called for Nina to join me. She looked at me from afar and then turned the opposite way. Despite my calls, she was determined to track those unwavering scents. And what did I do, I lost my cool. Anger, fear, and almost all out rage bubbled inside. It took me over. I called for her louder. Ya, like that was going to work after she clearly had looked at me and turned away. Rationally, I knew the loud yelling was getting me nowhere but it was as if a giant fire had been ignited and there was no water in site to douse it (if only I had realized the snow all around me I could have face planted in it to put out the flames — but alas, that would have been too easy). Instead, I raged. I feared. I realize now I was raging from all of the unpatriotic chess moves that were played this past week. My rage was fueled by the consumption of global fear and anger.
I know I am sensitive. I know we are all connected. And clearly, I was picking up on the collective human consciousness.
And while I once listened to the band Rage Against the Machine, I’d rather not rage against the brilliance of my DNA — for the DNA gets all out of alignment when we allow strong emotions such as anger or fear to flood our system. So I made a new call (this time to myself) to override the emotional hijacking and return to my heart’s code.
To activate this love in an instant, I turned to yoga. I left Nina outside and I fell to the ground in child’s pose. I thanked the earth for holding me. I asked her to take my anger and I channeled that fire into compassion, gratitude and peace. Yes. Peace. I switched my thoughts, went home to my breath, allowed my body to feel, and guess whose nose soon pressed against the sliding glass window? Yep, Nina chose to come home to momma at peace…not angry momma. Go figure!?
Until our peace laden paths cross again,
As 2017 begins, I have felt drawn towards the beauty of:
power & peace.
action & stillness.
speaking & silence.
The yin & yang of life.
And these words cross my path “Silence is not silent. Silence speaks. It speaks most eloquently. Silence is not still. Silence leads. It leads most perfectly”. ~ Sri Chinmoy
Most perfectly indeed. We are not one without the other.
…To be human is to become visible while carrying what is hidden as a gift to others… ~ David Whyte
The wisdom of nature’s spirit guides will always keep me curious and in awe like a little girl realizing for the first time there is a man in the moon. I live in a place where nature smiles on me daily yet my soul reminds me when needed of my love for the energy amidst majestic mountains. Thus, I decided to heed my inner calling as I ventured to the Evergreen, Colorado area. The night before I hopped on the non-stop jet, that was to take me lurching through the sky, I turned to my Oracle Cards. I asked a simple question: “What do I need to make my trip soul fulfilling?”
The card I turned was “Meadow: Vulnerability” — It is time to step out into the expanse unknown and expose your true self in all aspects of your life. Oh how true that rang for me! As I’ve been truly shedding the safety zone of who I used to be & am fully letting my colors shine of nature girl – shamanic yoga – spirit guide believer – and inspirational mover and shaker for others to shine!
Let me digress for one moment. Oracle Cards. Maybe they are new to you? You may have heard of Tarot Cards? The cards are wisdom cards used to help with spiritual guidance. I once read the difference between the two described as: Tarot Cards follow a set structure to guide you while Oracle Cards are like the rebel without a cause. There is no set structure to follow and you can let your wild hair down and make up your own rules as you receive intuitive & spiritual guidance. I resemble those comments so I’ve recently welcomed a relationship with Oracle Cards.
The deck in which I pulled Meadow has 48 cards and they are called “Earth Magic”. Oh ya! Now, you know why they are my favorite.
Ok, back to the story. So, I finally land my butt on that magical jet plane which is streaming me across great Grandfather Sky and I decide to pull out the cards. I ask a very similar question and then:
Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle.
Guess what card turns? Yep, Meadow!
Fast forward a bit to our safe arrival to the wonderful chalet in the mountains. I introduce my dear friend and traveling buddy to the Earth Magic cards our first morning (post coffee of course). And, guess what card I pulled (after much shuffling)? Yep, Meadow! Did you remember that there are 48 cards…yes at this point I needed to double check myself…but I was beginning to get the intuitively guided spiritual message the cards were laying down for me.
On that day 3 of the obligatory Meadow card, we decided to head to Indian Hills Hot Springs. It is raw, natural and maybe a bit old school for those of you who like posh hot spring establishments, but for this nature chick, it was perfect. I slid into a hot pool in a cave surrounded by dark rock covered walls. As I gazed up, my power animal guide Jaguar showed up. She was so clear I thought for sure someone had drawn her face in chalk (insert disclaimer: even as a spiritually guided shamanic practitioner, there are times when things are so crystal clear that I have to wipe my eyes in questioning if I just made that up in my mind). Nope, I could see her on the cave wall and no one had been into those steamy pools with chalk. As I was spending time getting an intuitive message from my dear spirit guide friend, my gaze shifted to the left and a falcon appeared. Falcon? Was it a falcon or condor? I didn’t have google images with me in that dark cave so I just asked “Show me if you are a falcon” and the nose started to point down indicating – yes indeed – it was a falcon.
My friend and I had a great chat about the significance of Falcon spirit guide messages on our drive back to the beautiful mountain abode and of course their guidance was spot on for me.
After a restful nights sleep, our bodies were craving movement after soaking for so long in the hot springs the day before. So we asked our host for a hiking trail recommendation. And guess where she said? “Elk Meadow”. You hadn’t forgotten about the Meadow card of vulnerability yet had you? Well, I hadn’t!
Soon after our chat with our wonderful host & coffee was satiated into our cells, we plopped down on the deck floor with the great sky as our witness (and I believe there were 3 deer resting in the sun behind us too…no kidding…they had to take in what was about to happen next). I shuffle the Oracle cards and jokingly say to my friend “wouldn’t it be absolutely crazy if I pulled Meadow again?”
Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle.
I spread the cards and grabbed the one that was calling to me. Yep! Meadow again!! We both looked at each other with eyes as big as an owl on alert and just then…a falcon flies over our heads. A falcon!
We were laughing so hard with spiritual awe, joy, and just pure giddiness with how magical and obvious life can be when you just ask AND listen. My girlfriend paused for a moment between her snorts of laughing and says:
“And..Cue Falcon Man“.
He must have been around the corner somewhere.
Always grateful to the great mysterious Universe and all of her spiritual helpers. Especially grateful to those sweet spirit animals who know I am watching and listening as they show up to make this life journey special, powerful, and in flow with all that is.
Until our sacred paths cross next time,
P.S. After we hiked that beautiful Elk Meadow trail, I felt my raw vulnerability exposed under the guise of nature’s help. The next day the Meadow card was not selected. I had heeded her wisdom.
I caught myself in a little white lie (again). It was super small. Insignificant really. But, the words just found their way out of my mouth.
Do you do it? Of course you do! Well maybe if you have reached a state of pure self love & unwavering acceptance of your authentic soul all the time…maybe then you don’t ever speak them. But, I know I am talking to a human on the other side of this technology device and we all have a tendency to fall into our shadow selves. We see ourselves as somehow less than and not enough. We are conflict avoiders. We are afraid to let our true colors be known. We are out to prove something. And the fib reasons can go on. I am here to confess the ones I occasionally fall victim to:
3 little white lies:
Yet just another reason I love my yoga practice. Since the body never lies, yoga helps to uncover the truth and shed the old lies that have unconsciously been shoved deep into the fascia, cells, nerves, etc. When you harness the breath & melt into yoga postures, you get the old inauthentic energetic kinks out and you shed light onto your true self. You will know what it feels like to truly heal from the inside out.
If you can feel it, you can heal it.
As you feel the tensions release, know that you are tapping into your spiritual self where you have the realization that truth will always set you free. And insert one of my favorite Dr Wayne Dyer messages:
First remember that you are a spirit in a human body rather than a body with a spirit.
We are here to spiritually grow, love, co-create, and above all else to forgive ourselves and others (from all those lies). So embrace this human experience and live it from a point of truth; your growth will accelerate and others will want to join your party since true authenticity is contagiously sexy. Before I close today’s chat, try on this cool mantra outfit (one size fits all):
I am real. I am honest with compassion. I am a truth vibe trend setter.
Trust me when I say; when you wear that outfit it will feel like you are giving yourself a big hug (and I’m not exaggerating). Plus, you will get the most compliments EVER when you wear that outfit!
Until our paths cross again.
In love & light,
I was living smack in the middle of the busy-business of Washington DC. The energetic buzz was palpable yet on one particular evening I was being comforted by my quiet fireplace lit condo in Dupont; soothed by the stillness of the night.
I felt grounded. I felt calm. I felt ready.
I had decided to take my 15 years of yoga practice & study up a notch and head to where the roots of yoga’s amazingness originated. India here I come! And like many major life decisions, I turned over my fate to Google to find the ideal training institute. Well, I didn’t completely let an inanimate piece of technology be my only magic worker. I also employed an intuitive tool I had been using to help me select web pages to click on. I used the energy I could feel in my hands as I scrolled through the myriad of selections and voila. There she was; The Sattvik Sedan.
I had no idea what”Sattvik” meant which was even further validation for me to learn more.
And here I am several years later sharing with you the blissful meaning of Sattvik. It means living in harmony with a dynamic stillness.
Sattvik is exactly what I needed to learn then and now.
Here is a huge life lesson pulled from the ancient teachings of Yoga (& Ayurveda) philosophy:
The happiest of all lives is a busy solitude. ~ Voltaire
Go ahead…enjoy the vibrant feeling of “getting things done”- be dynamic. But notice at the same moment busy-ness is happening so is stillness. When those two forces find a happy marriage; that is when radiant bliss comes out of hiding and smack into the middle of your life.
Here is powerful intention statement just for you: I choose to live in dynamic stillness.
Until our paths cross again. In love & light,
Not for the flexible?
When I see people on their yoga mats, they seem to be in all sorts of bendy poses. Their heads can reach places I hadn’t before thought of exploring and their backs twist into shapes that I had only seen at a Cirque du Soleil performance in Vegas. Yoga seems to only be about the flexible.
Those words are a flavorful version of conversations I’ve had over the years with people who are afraid of yoga. The list of fears is not limited to the misunderstanding of our bodies abilities, but an obligatory comment tends to be “I’m not flexible”. As a yoga teacher, I see fears as an opportunity to realize what part of our true nature is screaming to come out and play. So if you are one of the yoga-wanna-be-newbies that has tons of red fear flags waving — stiff non-flexible ‘ol body being one of them — here is what I lovingly share with you.
Yoga is not for the flexible. It is for the willing.
Go ahead. Roll out a yoga mat, breathe, move, and just show up. You may just have the best performance of your life —without the flashing lights of Las Vegas.
In love & light,
You alone are enough- you have nothing to prove to anybody. ~Maya Angelou
Four years ago I was sitting at an outdoor cafe with a friend in Washington DC sipping on red wine and talking about life. He casually asked “What is it you really want to do with all this passion you possess?”
I went on a wine and sun induced rant of how I wanted to help people access their power while also feeling peaceful. I had fought with myself for years; pushing my agenda and voicing my opinions and I had finally realized that the constant ‘in your face’ approach wasn’t necessary; and actually power limiting. In stillness and trusting in the moment is where I felt true power; that pure self knowing. Our chat ended with, “You know Phil, it is like getting a rush of adrenaline but also feeling zen embrace you at the same moment”. And thus my business name was realized: adrenazen.
I jumped in with both feet creating adrenazen classes that fused the grace and power of boxing with yoga. I know. I know. Really? Boxing and yoga? Well, it worked and the message was pervasive. There was a waiting list of students seeking this powerful zen experience. I was relishing in my own adrenaline and was taking less and less time for quiet zen Wendy moments; oh the irony.
But in one particular silent time, I remembered clearly a conversation with another yoga friend “Why are you trying so hard to build a brand? Wendy Billie is your brand.” I shrugged it off because I loved the cool business name. But I know now my friend was meant to say those words to me and thank goodness the voice within was loud enough so that when my graphic designer was creating my adrenazen logo I also had him create a Wendy Billie logo to compliment. I felt a tug in my heart saying one day I would shift to “Wendy Billie” my true essence and spirit. I would lead yoga healing retreats and seminars all over the world. And just as the universe is in a constant state of change and evolution, as am I. And now is the time to shift from just pure “yoga boxing” to my heart; a diverse wild eclectic nature loving peaceful spiritual being.
So for those who have been adrenazen followers, it is still me. It’s just that now I absorb in the brand that has always been with me. I use my given talents in ways to help people heal and step into their true authentic lives.
Do you find yourself pushing your agenda? Just maybe it is time to step back and see if you are flowing with YOU.
Namaste my dear friends and see you at wendybilli
International yoga instructor, Shamanic Practitioner, life coach, and more!